Published Tue Mar 22 2022
How does a successful, busy software engineer find their life partner if they don't end up marrying their college sweetheart?
Why is it harder for guys to meet women after they graduate college and get into meaningful relationships with the right person?
Well for one, when men are in college, they are exposed to so many people, especially women. There's women all over campus, you can meet them through friends of friends, parties, social circle, classes and more.
So that's how most people that age meet their significant other and end up getting married and start a family. You probably know countless of people with that same story.
But what happens when these guys end up graduating and maybe break up with their girlfriend or they graduate as a single guy?
Well, they enter a completely new world. Why? Because from the moment they were in middle school thru college, they were always around women. Now all of a sudden, these men have landed a position working for a company or started a business. They now work long hours from their computers everyday either from home or at an office, and rarely get to see women because engineering professions are usually male dominant. Their environment has changed dramatically.
Most of the time, their social circle starts to get smaller too due to their friends moving for work and just being busy as an adult. Poof - and now another aspect of their exposure to women gets diminished.
They went from seeing a ton of women every single day back in school, to sitting down in front of their computer all day Monday through Friday, 8 to 5.
Not only do they see women less, but their social skills start to fade away as well.
It becomes hard to go from being logical and working all day, to all of a sudden being expected to just flip the switch and be able to talk to women and attract the right one.
For a woman, she will most always be more socially savvy. If she's semi attractive, there will be a plethora of guys that talk to her and hit on her, so her social skills with men will always be up to par.
For a guy, it doesn't just work like that. It's very rare for women to hit on a guy, so if a man takes himself out of being around women and talking to them, his social skills decline.
Another big factor in this equation is that most women these days also have great careers, so they are not just looking for a guy with a good income and resources, because they may have that as well. So just because a software engineer has a good career doesn't mean he will catch his dream woman so easy. Why? Because women want other characteristics as well. Stability without a personality or excitement is like a cake without icing. Women now are more picky than ever because they can support themselves, so it's not like how it always used to be.
Out of all the traits women want in a guy, having a good sense of humor is the most desirable to have in a long term partner.
People always give the B.S. advice of saying: “Billy, just be yourself around her.”
But how can Billy be himself if he works everyday by himself on the computer? When he sees an attractive woman, is he supposed to just “be himself” and attract her?
So they end up getting a couple of dating apps to be able to match with women and message them to see if they can meet up for a date.
Let's be real, you have to be looking like Ryan Gosling to be getting unlimited matches with the women you want to be with. The competition is fierce on these apps. If a man doesn't have their profile optimized and maximized to its fullest potential and they don’t have a gameplan, they’re going to get lost in the algorithm. It’s like shooting without a target and then going in a circle of repeating the same mistakes such as . . .
Not getting quality matches, losing someone in the text messages because they don't know how to effectively text them to set a date, and if they do go out on a date, they blow it.
This becomes a repeated pattern and they don't get much results. Now, I’m not here to say that this is every software engineer, but a lot of men tell me this and the clients I work with have these re-occurring problems.
What software engineers have to do in order to attract their dream partner is this: They have to change their habits of what they do when they finish work. This looks like doing more activities/hobbies that give them more exposure to attractive women to meet in real life.
They have to learn how to be able to connect, attract women and ask them out. Then comes the ability to go on a date to see if there's chemistry and move into the next phases with her, without being so needy and too damn nice where it turns her off.
Then comes knowing how to efficiently set up dates with women in online dating apps so that they can see if there's an actual connection with her, without wasting countless of hours swiping their life away.
If software engineers can figure this out and do both, they will have a higher percentage of finding the right woman to be with in a passionate and meaningful relationship.
If they still don't know how, there's no reason to keep wasting time. Hire a professional dating coach to help solve this problem and have success in this part of life as well.
Life is too short to try and figure everything out by yourself. Men who have the most success in life have coaches and mentors in all areas of their life. This area is no different. In fact this area is one of the most important areas in your life, so message me if you want to break out of this pattern and get into a meaningful relationship with your dream partner.
"Love is the goal, life is the journey."- Osho