|
|
| Dating University |
|
 |
|
|
Men: Never Compliment a Woman You Want to Date
Hello Lucia, I regularly compliment women and tell them that I am interested in them. Is this the kiss of death? I hear being aloof and stand-offish is more intriguing and works better in trying to get a woman's attention, especially in the beginning. Richard. Hi Richard, Yes, complimenting women (especially if they're attractive) when you first meet them is verboten. Attractive women are used to getting compliments ? in fact, they expect them. If you tell a woman you've just met that she's beautiful, the dialogue cloud above her head is thinking, "Tell me something I don't know." She already knows she's hot. How do you think she got that way? Do you think she just rolled out of bed like that? Since most guys behave that way, you'll fall into the category of average and won't stand out from everyone else. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you're about a 7 or less. Why do I think that? Because guys that rate an 8, 9 or 10 rarely compliment women. It's like meeting an equal. You both know you're hot, so it doesn't need to be said. It would be like two geniuses meeting. Do you really think one is going to say to the other: You're so smart! I don't think so. If you're in the same league, some things are understood. By referring to her beauty, you're sending an unconscious message that you've put her up on a pedestal, are intimidated by her and she would be doing you a favor by dating you. Well, why should she? She has enough guys in her league available to her. Why should she date YOU? The solution? Never comment on a woman's looks when you first meet her or on the first few dates. If you want to give a compliment, give it for something she doesn't normally get noticed for. This could be about how smart she is (this works especially well with attractive women since they rarely get compliments for their brains) or how good she is with _____________ (children, pets, salespeople). The only time I would suggest complimenting a woman you want to meet is if it's someone you see on a regular basis, such as at school or at the gym. In that case, very confidently go up to her and say something like: I just want to thank you for making the world a better place with your beauty. After she says thank you, immediately walk away. She'll be intrigued that you didn't try to start a conversation with her or get her number. Whenever you see her after that, just smile and say hello. If she doesn't eventually start a conversation with you, you can start a short one with her, but wait until you've been saying hello to each other for at least several weeks. Are compliments ever appropriate? Of course! After you've been dating for a while, it would be classless not to compliment her on her looks, especially if she's all dressed up. She probably spent a lot of time getting ready, and if you don't say anything, she'll notice and she won't be too happy about it! Say something like: You're amazingly beautiful. How did I get so lucky? Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love". With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice ? after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it. For more articles or to ask Lucia a question, go to: http://www.theartoflove.net To speak to Lucia, go to: Ask Lucia
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Get the Girl You Want: The Attraction Killer to Avoid and Some Strategies for Success It's one of the supreme tragedies in life. When there's just one girl you want, it becomes much tougher to get her. No matter how much of a player some guys are, we've all had that one girl we want. It could be that hot babe in your office who you've had a crush on. Or it could be that beautiful woman in your college class who you dream of having as the perfect girlfriend. You see, a lot of times guys mess themselves up by focusing on just one girl. That's because having that narrow focus kills whatever attraction she might have for you. This attraction killer is... FEELING NEEDY AND DESPERATE.When you're needy and desperate, and you start thinking that any girl is one of a kind, then you become like the cartoon lover skunk Pepe Le Pieux chasing the cat. And your odds of success are about the same as his. So with that in mind, in this article you'll learn strategies for how exactly to stop killing the natural attraction that special girl has for you. Then you'll learn how to maximize your chances to get the girl you want.Strategy #1: Realize That Other Girls Are Just As Special As She IsDo not sweat it about that one girl. I promise you that although she may be awesome, there are tons of other girls out there who are just as great as she is. No matter what good quality she has (silky hair? good in the kitchen? a sense of humor?), there are millions of other hot women with that exact same good quality. This comes from massive experience... not only from my own two and a half decades dating hundreds and hundreds of women, but from comparing notes with other guys who are good with girls. Believe me when I tell you, there is literally NOTHIN that any woman has that is unique ONLY to her.So don't worry about how special she is. Of course she's special -- lots of girls are!The last thing you ever want to have going through your mind when you're around a girl is, "God, I MUST have this girl! She's irreplaceable!"So, you're free to think she's amazing. Just remember that lots of other girls are amazing too. That way you won't become too needy.Strategy #2: Date Other Women to Get That One GirlNow, I know it's tough to not worry about a woman if she's the only dating prospect in your life right now. So the solution is to make yourself hang out with other girls. This will also pay benefits to you in other ways, using a basic principal of psychology to increase your "value." I'll explain.You see, whenever a woman sees that other chicks are attracted to a guy, she too feels attraction. Psychologically, this is known as the "social proof" phenomenon... and it's much more powerful in women than men.To women, the most attractive guy is the one who's surrounded by other women. So, ironically, the best way to get this special girl attracted to you is for her to discover that she'd have to compete with other women. That way you become a challenge. She's the one who has to win your affections, not the other way around. Strategy #3: Change Your Mindset About Women to Get That GirlA simple change in your attitude will cure your feelings of neediness and desperation for any particular woman. Warning: it's politically incorrect. However, it's effective and, ironically, will maximize your chances of getting her. That change is this... start viewing chicks as "one woman with many faces." That way you won't get too wrapped in any ONE chick. If you get to know players -- you know, those guys who've slept with dozens of women and can get any chick they want -- you'll find that's the exact attitude that every one of them has. So forget coming from a frame of neediness. A better frame to come from is the mindset that you have high value, and any attention you give her has been EARNED by her. That way, even though she is the one girl you want, you'll avoid the attraction killer and have the best odds of success. Compatibility Harsh words, hurting comments, tears and flying household objects - for sure, no one ever wanted that to be the everyday routine when deciding to live together with the beloved person. Yet, why is this such a common picture, portrayed even in many Hollywood dramas? What To Put On A Dating Site Profile And What To Leave Out Your dating site profile is the most important tool you have to find love online-and fast. It's the identity that you put forward to other online daters, it's what people see when they're looking for people like you and it's all you've got to make a first impression and pull in the proposals. Are Parents Still Stopping You from Having a Girlfriend? There are a lot of young men who find it difficult to go out and meet new girls on days when they have a quarell with their parents. E-Love at Easter! Part One Kiki sat on the park bench, staring ruefully at the passers by. Last night's row with Tolu was the cause of her blues. Painful though it had been, she did not regret the break up. His overbearing and jealous nature had been the cause of many a fight between the two. Kiki just wanted out. This toxic relationship wasn't worth the trouble. It was simply time to move on. Quality Adult Personals Quality adult personals are becoming harder to find these days. The recent growth in the online dating world has created a polluted industry, leaving only a handful of good quality sites.When searching for an adult personals site to join, you should set a quality standard. Sites meeting this standard should offer a minimum of the following features:1. Create a Free Profile ? A free profile is almost a must these days. Sites that do not offer this may be trying to rip you off.2. Upload photos - To accompany your profile, you should also be able to post photos free.3. Quick Search ? At the least, you should be able to search by age, zip code, gender, and interest. Today's top adult personals provide you with these tools to help you find exactly what you are looking for.4. View Member Photos ? Yes, for many people, looks do matter. You should be able to view members' photos before even talking to them, eliminating those who don't meet your standards.5. Feel Secure - Most important, the environment of a quality adult personals site should make you feel safe. Professionally designed sites usually make you feel secure.So there you have the quality standard. Don't waste your time on sites that do not offer the features mentioned above. Today's top adult personals are able to provide you with them for free.You can find a list of sites meeting these standards at AdultPersonalsDirectory.com Gay, Single, & Loving It! IntroductionWe live in a society that places high value and expectation on being in a coupled relationship and singles are often stigmatized for their single-status. Gay men, in particular, are often labeled as being unable to develop and maintain long-lasting intimate relationships, adding yet another layer to this stigma. This can lead to feelings of low self-worth and inferiority, a sense that there's something wrong with you if you don't have a boyfriend, an excessive focus and preoccupation with your discontent with being single, and sometimes a compulsive drive to find a relationship just to satisfy that nagging need (which can be a dangerous and sabotaging maneuver if one's dating practices are conducted out of desperation rather than conscious intention). The Deal Breakers Deal Breakers. Everyone's got them. You know: the instant turn-offs that can turn a romantic dinner for two into an immediate request for the check. Whether we keep ours in an easily accessible mental list, or are surprised by them every time, most discerning folks will have encountered a deal breaker at some point during their dating career? What Appeals To Women About Badboys What is it about the attraction of Bad Boys? Dating ? What to Do on Your First Date Dating at first is fun but as it goes on it's easy to fall into a rut. You always go out to dinner or a movie or stay home and rent videos but you are feeling kind of bored. The boredom may not be because of your dating partner it could be that you have fallen into a comfortable pattern. A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had the experience of liking a woman, being a perfect gentleman, and treating her like a queen, only to have her reject you in favor of someone else (possibly very handsome) who doesn't treat her right, or doesn't seem to care about her much at all? These kinds of men have been called "bad boys," "charm boys," or "players." When you are interested in women, do they tend to see you as a friend or "brother" rather than a romantic interest? Do women tell you you're "too nice"? If so, you are not alone. This article will give you, the nice guy, some tips on how to use charm-boy traits to your advantage, while retaining your nice-guy values. It Pays For Single Christians To Date Other Like-Minded People Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest challenges. 7 Tips to Dating Online in Safety Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So let's first get it into perspective. Some of us just like to have fun but are sick of the singles bars and other similar nite spots that are the last resort for finding a decent partner or lover. They often result in the wrong person even if you are lucky enough to meet someone. Or, you may have once upon a time met someone that 'fitted the bill' but over time this has proved not to be the case any longer, so.......long story short, you are now once again looking for a better fit. You might be just plain lonely or recently dumped by that someone who promised to be there forever. If you're senior in years, you may just be seeking a companion or someone who has similar interests. These days, it's quite likely that you are someone who's busy most of the time and don't have the time to go galavanting around the place looking for a date and attending dinner parties with the hope that your friends have selected a decent blind date on your behalf. Online Dating ? How To Avoid Faked Photos One of the great things about online dating is the ability to read the profiles of hundreds of people in the peace and quiet of your own home. You can scan for key interests and age groups in perfect anonymity without expressing your preferences "in public". Web Cams: Windows on the World The webcam has brought a truly amazing variety of experience to the desktop user giving all of us true "window on the world" to webcams all over the planet. With a good webcam software to connect you to the vast array of webcams out there you can see live video as it occurs from such diverse places as??? Web Spinning I've been toying around with this technique that I call "Web Spinning" for a while now and it has been working wonders for me, plus I've had quite a bit of fun during the process... I think you will too. This is how it works: Online Dating for Beginners There are many online dating sites, all of them require you to be at least 18 years of age. The two that I really liked, were Match.com and Yahoo Personals. Match.com is probably the largest online dating site ever, it allows you to create a profile, and search for other profiles for free. You can also send winks (basically a notification that you like someone's profile) to other people for free. In order to actually send emails to other users, you need to be subscribed, which costs a small monthly fee (this can range from $9.99 to $29.99 depending on the site). What is Confident Rapport? The majority of theories on how to pick up girls were compiled by guys who had problems with women and tried to get better. Therein lies the very nature of the problems with most theory. They all assume that you, going over to the girl, have less value then her. By assuming this, you're forced to play a role of lower value. Why on earth are you assuming you are worth less then the girl? I don't care how hot she is! So, How Big is Your Penis? As a result of dating for decades and chatting with many singles of both sexes, I've gathered some interesting and helpful insights about men and women. Here are a few: She Rejected You: Some Reasons Why It Happened & What You Can Do? There is just something that makes women NOT get attracted to men who have lower STATUS than themselves. There is always tension whena lady is taller than her man, she makes more money than him or whena guy is being 'led around' by his girlfriend or wife..
|
| home | site map |
| © 2009 |
